LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN Third Edition
About
Learning to Dance in the Rain Third Edition - Surviving Grief, Internet Dating and Romance Scams” is the Living Now Book Awards choice for a Silver Medal in the Relationships/Marriage Category for 2021. It offers insights into the author’s private journey of grief following the death of her husband of fifty years and the strategies she developed through her years which helped her to adapt and move forward.
“He didn’t make it,” the nurse mumbled after calling Wagner into the hospital hall two hours later than anticipated. Not hearing what she expected to be taken to her husband’s ne room, a stunned Wagner came to attention and asked, “What did you say?” Thus was the beginning of a new chapter of life. At first broken-hearted, grief-stricken, bewildered, and bereft, she wept as her recent memories and her great loss engulfed her. Peeking into the future, she saw a grim future filled with uncertainty and loneliness. How was she going to survive? she wondered. What was she going to do? So many questions. so many decisions had to be made suddenly. But gradually, she began to move forward. Treading lightly, illusory visions presented themselves of the wistful but precocious young girl she had once been. Long-forgotten dreams played on the edge of her consciousness and she began to wonder “if perhaps the modern world would offer fresh, new, exciting possibilities.” Proceeding cautiously forward, she stumbled into a full social life, filled with adventure, romance, and danger. Wagner has skillfully intertwined her narrative with valuable insights and provocative strategies for survival and the result is a captivating and compelling book.
Praise for this book
Learning to Dance in the Rain II: Surviving Grief, Internet Dating and Romance Scams!
Shelby Wagner
Xlibris, 198 pages, (paperback) $18.99, 978-1-6641-4589-4
(Reviewed: August, 2021)
When Shelby Wagner’s husband died suddenly, she suffered not only the pain of loss but, upon
re-entering the dating world, the trauma of deceit. An update of her book’s first edition released
in 2018, Learning to Dance in the Rain II is the retired teacher’s attempt to help others,
especially seniors, avoid the scams that took her by surprise.
The book is divided into four main sections: the loss and its immediate aftermath, transition to a
new life, dating again, and cautionary words about predatory paramours. It’s essentially a how-
to guide with exercises and tips ranging from how to determine your positive traits to how to talk
to grown children who object to a widowed parent dating again.
Despite the book’s easy-to-follow format, the early chapters often read like a “this happened,
then this” diary. The storytelling falls flat, with mundane details about funeral arrangements and
Wagner moving in with her daughter that siphon off the emotion such events warrant. “Used to
my husband being around all the time, I was lonely, and I missed him,” she writes without
sharing specific moments. In the next chapter, Wagner reveals her nervousness about taking up
line dancing in just a few paragraphs void of dialogue and description, especially disappointing
given the book’s title.
Eventually, it’s clear that her no-nonsense style simply reflects the spunky personality of
someone who would rather move forward than dwell in the past. The advice arena is
undoubtedly where she excels: “[The internet] gives you the chance to practice your flirting
skills”; “If you get a text message or email from a stranger telling you they love you, it is an
automatic red flag…” In perhaps her most vulnerable revelation, Wagner includes actual posts
from scammers with whom she corresponded online.
If you’re looking for comfort and solace, this may not be your best bet. But if you need someone
to shoot it straight with big-sisterly warnings, this book should fill the bill.
Also available hardcover and ebook.
👉"Learning to Dance in the Rain" offers a compelling narrative self-help experience that's particularly relevant for those navigating the challenges of grief, loss, and the complexities of dating, especially in the digital age. Shelby Wagner's award-winning guide takes readers on a personal journey through her own experiences, offering insights, life strategies, and advice from experts that can help individuals move forward towards a more fulfilling lifestyle.
👉The book's title, "Learning to Dance in the Rain," metaphorically encapsulates the idea of finding strength and growth even in the face of life's storms. Beginning just days before the unexpected passing of her husband of fifty years, Wagner's narrative takes readers through the stages of grief and the process of healing. This relatable journey offers solace and guidance to those who are also dealing with loss.
👉Wagner's inclusion of personal stories and insights, combined with advice from experts, creates a comprehensive and relatable guide that goes beyond traditional self-help books. The author's candid storytelling allows readers to connect with her experiences, making the book's guidance even more impactful.
👉A significant aspect of the book seems to be its exploration of dating after fifty, a topic that holds relevance for many readers. Wagner's tips, drawn from her own experiences, offer a practical and informed perspective on dating later in life.
👉The assertion that reading this book can help safeguard one's heart and finances underscores its practical value. With Wagner's guidance, readers can learn from her experiences and be better prepared for their own journeys in dating and relationships.
👉In summary, "Learning to Dance in the Rain" is a narrative self-help guide that offers solace, insights, and practical advice for individuals.
For complete read 👇
For book link:
https://www.amazon.com/LEARNING-DANCE-RAIN-Surviving-Internet/dp/
Eleanor Vale – [Book II] 5.0 out of 5 stars This is a very powerful book
Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2021, Verified Purchase – “I first was intrigued by its title. Clearly, it was going to be about overcoming obstacles. In this case, learning to live life again after the passing of one’s spouse. Wagner divides her book into three parts. First “The Rain” – where she sustains the loss of her spouse. Second “Learning to Dance” – where she evaluates herself at her senior state of life, in her 70s. Third “Dancing” – where she actually re-enters the social world of dating and mating.
I related to the first two parts of the book and found them honest and heart-warming. It brought back my memories of my own loss of my spouse after 44 years of marriage when I was in my 70s.
The Fourth part “Be Careful” – is actually a continuation of part Three. It is a detailed explanation of Wagner’s internet dating experiences. She describes how she was victimized by false “lovers” trolling the internet, looking for senior citizens. I think she has emphasized properly the dangers of believing everything you are told, and what you read. I was not a person who needed to read “Be Careful”, because I just knew one needs to be careful relating to any stranger. But this section really brought home to me just how skilled these fakers are. It’s actually a business. The same faker would flirt with Wagner under a different name and with a different profile. Wagner makes it clear that it might have been bots at work, not even a human.”
Samantha Stone, [wrote the forward in both books] “Shelby ’s book is inspiring to all women and men. She took a vast subject and divided its complexities into individual sections. It is relatable, intellectual, and investigative. Wagner starts her book as a broken woman and ends a strong one. Her journey through the toils of online dating is eye opening and will be helpful to everyone out there trying to find “the one. “This book is both a self-help guide and a genius approach to conquering romance scammers. Much like a profiler, she brings the essence of a sleuth examining the mysterious men of the internet. Do they want you for you? Are they preying on you? Are they after your money and nothing more? Shelby takes her readers on a ride they won’t soon forget.” –
“Learning to Dance in the Rain II” is a must read for all generations. It shares lessons in life that we can and will be able to relate to at some point in our lives. Living in the 21st century technology is a part of everything we do, and this book is a great guide on how to protect ourselves and our parents from romance scams that have caught so many people off guard. Thank you, Shelby for sharing your personal and intimate stories with us to help us make better choices as we navigate our way through this life.”
After the death of her husband, a woman learns to navigate grief, independence, and online dating in this memoir/self-help book. In 2000, Wagner and her husband, Bob, moved from Michigan into their ‘retirement dream home’ in Tennessee’s Smoky Mountains. Only six years later, Bob was diagnosed with cancer, and after 10 years of difficult treatments, the author was a widow, alone in the house that she and her spouse had built together. She moved back to Michigan to be closer to other members of her family and was faced with the prospect of reinventing her life without her beloved partner—a task that required courage, soul-searching, and getting to know herself again as an individual. As she contemplated dating in her 70s, she formulated strategies that she decided she wanted to share with others her age seeking romance and intimacy. In this book, she begins by exploring what she sees as the differences in men’s and women’s thought patterns and then progresses to explaining the nuts and bolts of dating websites. As a result, the story of Wagner’s second act quickly transforms into an intimate self-help resource for elders determined to survive and thrive. She peppers her warm, personal narrative with lists of useful questions and suggestions for those who may be emerging from long-term relationships and need help rediscovering themselves. It also explains a dating world that’s very different from the one that Wagner’s target audience navigated decades ago. She approaches her readers with understanding and empathy, offering gleanings from a variety of references. Even the shyest widow or widower is likely to be engaged by her approach to online dating, which defines email, texting, and online chat and provides exhaustive pointers for avoiding scammers. Her willingness to reveal her own experiences of being swindled by prospective “dates” is appealingly frank, as well, although it does work against the hopeful attitude she tries to cultivate elsewhere.
A lively guide for late-in-life singles. — Kirkus Review